Why Healing Your Inner Child Will Change Your Life
If nothing in your life seems to be going well, or you bounce from disappointment to disappointment, there’s one solution that transforms the deepest source of your issues. Inner child healing transforms dysfunctional behaviour at the cause.
Wouldn’t you rather go deep into the root cause than keep going through bandaid after bandaid that never fixes your situation?
What are the signs or symptoms you may have an inner child wound?
You may be constantly angry, from deep within your core.
Your inner child wounding may make it difficult to love yourself and your imperfections.
You may have an inner child wound if your self-esteem is low or you keep behaving in self-sabotaging ways.
You may be drawn to unhealthy coping mechanisms like addictions that just won’t go away despite therapy.
Your inner child wound may be expressed as a lack of respect for others, having big feelings about small things, worrying about being abandoned or neglected, feeling guilty all the time or even simply not trusting yourself or others.
If you experienced emotional pain in your childhood (like neglect, trauma, bullying etc) your inner child’s fears may be constantly flagging your inner need for safety and protection.
Your nervous system may be stuck in fight, flight, freeze or people pleasing, leading to procrastination and not being able to adult effectively.
If your inner child was not truly recognised and acknowledged as ‘enough’ you may have a ‘tough’ exterior that hides deep vulnerability and shame.
A difficult relationship with your family or challenges in your closest relationships can also signify inner child wounding, even if on the surface you had a ‘good’ upbringing.
A wounded inner child will often focus on old pain, bringing it up over and over again in your thoughts or emotions, until healing takes place.
You may have just a couple of symptoms or quite a few… the quantity isn’t as important as coming to realise that you have a beautiful, loving inner child who currently needs support from you!
Why does inner child healing work?
All of the situations on the ‘outside’ that make you seek therapy, have an inner cause. Your unhappy relationships, unmet longing to meet someone and enjoy a relationship, low self-esteem / lack of confidence or belief in yourself… even feeling insecure socially, having anxiety or depression, experiencing struggles at work, or your financial and health problems all start within.
Getting to know your inner child is a way to discover what is really causing these adulting problems that seem so insurmountable. When you connect with your inner child, you activate a second chance in life. You connect with the you that did not receive much-needed support and you set things right now, so that your inner child feels safe.
Who is your inner child? The younger you that is still acting like a whiny four year old, or a tantrumy two year old, or even a scared seven year old. Please don’t blame your inner child for the miseries of your current life - she or he didn’t create the situation - they did the best they could in each circumstance. And it’s no use blaming your parents either. Blame does not create healing. Now you and your inner child have the chance to bond lovingly together to create new ways of living. What a gift!
Have you ever watched Rocketman where Elton John meets his imaginary younger self at a support group and leans down to hug him? This film shows how our child-self never leaves us… and we can always love them into presence and peace now.
Most of our core wounds are formed by the time we are seven. Imagine gifting yourself the chance to create a new perspective on the world. This is how inner child healing works.
Other benefits of inner child work include the speed at which your inner child can heal as these deep wounds are acknowledged and perspectives shift within you. You’ll also enjoy the reactivation of your capacity for fun, play, creativity and imagination, even if you don’t see yourself like this now.
What would it feel like to welcome your sense of wonder as an early outcome in opening to the magic and beauty your inner child would love to offer you?
Where can you start to heal your inner child?
You know all of those feelings you squash down or drown in a sea of alcohol, exercise, doom-scrolling or some other distraction? That’s your inner child trying to find an outlet for all their unexpressed energy and emotions.
If you’d like to begin to find healthier ways of being present with your inner child, the first place to start is by listening to them without judgement…
The easiest way to remove judgement is to replace it with gratitude and kindness… can you be grateful they are willing to share their deepest fears and concerns with you? Can you be deeply kind as you respond?
How beautiful that your inner child can feel fully taken care of by you as an adult, gently filling those spaces that were left unfulfilled in childhood.
You can ask your inner child:
What would they love to tell you?
What are they afraid of? How does that impact you now?
What makes them anxious or unhappy?
What do they need from you right now? A hug? A loving word? To know you’ll always be there for them?
What brings them joy?
How do they love to have fun?
How do they love to play and create?
How can you fulfil these needs for them now?
If you find it hard to imagine these conversations, start by writing letters from your inner child to you; and from you to your inner child.
Can you be supportive and caring so that trust is built between you? If this is proving tricky or just feels a little strange, you can always work with a trusted therapist who can guide you through this process.
Healing your inner child opens you up to abundant possibilities!
Your inner child is wise. As you build trust in each other, that innate wisdom will begin to emerge front and centre. You will step more fully into your power and your strengths. Your life will begin to flow. New experiences and new possibilities will land at your feet more often.
And as you focus on what is new and emerging, much of the pain and trauma begins to dissipate, allowing you to be open to receiving all of the beauty and bliss that is meant to be yours.
The sooner you start your inner child wound healing journey, the sooner you’ll turn your life around.
A life of abundant possibilities looks different for each individual… for one it may be plenty of love, affection and sex… for another that same energy may be expressed as abundant creative expression.
Abundant possibilities may feel like quiet assured confidence and being true to yourself… or it may feel like being recognised, appreciated and highly visible in the world, or it could be the inner satisfaction that comes from being part of a dedicated group of volunteers planting thousands of trees to transform our environment.
The abundant possibilities that YOU create may well emerge from your childhood desires. Think back to what you most loved… ask your inner child… do you have any unfulfilled needs around this? Are there even more exciting possibilities we could explore together?
Congratulations. You have started to heal your dear inner child. Should you prefer a more structured approach, you are welcome to connect with me. I offer Inner Child Workshops and 1-1 mentoring in support of your inner child healing journey.
And of course, you are welcome to download the free chapter on Inner Child Healing from my new book ‘Create Abundant Possibilities’. I’m sure you’ll love it!